Cop out

Sorry I haven't blogged for a while...been too busy. But here's a reminder of why I love this world so much (also known as 'providing blog entry by copy and paste').



Letterman challenges harassment restraining order

"Lawyers for US comedian David Letterman have asked a judge to throw out a restraining order granted to a New Mexico woman who claims the late-night TV host is communicating with her through coded messages on his show.

Santa Fe District Court Judge Daniel Sanchez signed an order last week requiring the star of the CBS Late Show with David Letterman, which is taped in New York City, to stay at least 100 metres away from Colleen Nestler and to refrain from contacting her.

Ms Nestler claimed in her petition for a restraining order that Letterman had caused her bankruptcy, mental cruelty and sleep deprivation since May 1994.

She asked that in addition to being barred from approaching or contacting her that Letterman be ordered to not "think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering".

Her court request was accompanied by a rambling, six-page typed letter in which Ms Nestler said Letterman and other TV personalities, including Regis Philbin and Kelsey Grammer, had secretly communicated with her through the public airwaves.

"The claims made are obviously absurd and frivolous," Letterman's attorney Jim Jackoway said in a statement.

"This constitutes an unfortunate abuse of the judicial process."

Ms Nestler wrote that she began sending Letterman "thoughts of love" in 1993 and that he responded to her on his show through the use of code words, gestures and "eye expressions" conveying his desire to marry her and train her as his co-host.

The restraining order signed by Judge Sanchez sets a court date for January 12, but Letterman's lawyers have asked for an expedited hearing on the matter.

Besides asserting that Ms Nestler's petition was without merit, they argued that the court lacked jurisdiction over Letterman, that Ms Nestler failed to serve him with necessary paperwork and that she failed to meet other procedural requirements.

"While Ms Nestler may deserve compassion and assistance, allowing her to bring claims against Mr Letterman is not in her interests or the interests of justice," his lawyers wrote in their motion to quash the restraining order.

"Celebrities deserve protection of their reputation and legal rights when the occasional fan becomes dangerous or deluded."

Neither Ms Nestler, who is representing herself, nor the judge could be reached for comment.

Judge Sanchez told the Santa Fe New Mexican newspaper that he had read Ms Nestler's application and did not make a mistake, but declined to comment further."

-Reuters

Made me Laugh...

I just played this song on the morning show I'm doing, and it has to be the most politically incorrect offensive song I've ever heard! But it was so funny for exactly that reason. People could get away with so much dodgy stuff in the 60's...

This guy is British by the way.
Charlie Drake - My Boomerang Wont Come Back:

(oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka)
In the bad backlands of Australia,
many years ago,
The Aborigine tribes were meeting,
having a big pow-wow.
(oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka, oom-yacka-wurka)
'We've got a lot of trouble, Chief,
on account of your son Mac!'
'My boy Mac, what's wrong with him?'
'My boomerang won't come back!'
'Your boomerang won't come back?'
'My boomerang won't come back'

(Drake):My boomerang won't come back
I've waved the thing all over the place
Practiced till I was black in the face
I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race
My boomerang won't back

I can ride a kangaroo (yeah yeah)
Make kinkajou stew (yea yeah)
But I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race
My boomerang won't back

They banished him from the tribe then
& sent him on his way
He had a hapless boomerang,
so here he could not stay

(shrieks of animals)

(Drake): This is nice, isn't it? Getting banished at my time in life. What a way to spend an evening. Sittin' on a rock in the middle of the desert with me boomerang in me hand. I should very likely get bushwhacked.

(animal roars, Drake shrieks back)

(Drake): Get out of here, nasty bushwhackin' animal! Think I'll make a nice cup of tea. (boing boing boing) Good gracious! There goes a kangaroo! I must have a practice with me boomerang.
hit him right behind the left earhole, then slowly back...

(kangaroo): If you throw that thing at me, I'll jump right on your head! (laughs)

(Drake): Ain't it marvelous! In a land
full of kangaroos I had to pick that one!

For 3 long months he sat there,
or maybe it was 4
Then an old old man in a kangaroo skin
came a-knockin' at his door

'Well I'm the local withdoctor, son.
They call me George Alfred Black.
Now tell me, what's your trouble, boy?'
(Drake): 'My boomerang won't come back!'
(old man): 'Your boomerang won't come back?'
(Drake): 'My boomerang won't come back!

My boomerang won't come back
I've waved the thing all over the place
Practiced till I was black in the face
I'm a big disgrace t' the Aborigine race
My boomerang won't back

(old man): 'Don't worry, boy, I know the trick,
& to you I'm gonna show it.
If you want your boomerang to come back,
well, first you've got to throw it!'

(Drake): Oh yes, never thought of that. Daddy will be pleased. Must have a go...
Excuse me. Now then, slowly back...& throw! (sound of boomerang flying)

(Drake): Oh my God! I've hit the flying doctor! Hee-hee-he-he!
Can you do First Aid?'
(old man): 'Don't talk to me about first aid boy; you owe me 14 chickens for teaching
you to throw the boomerang; first things first.'
(Drake): 'Yes, I know that, but I mean, I
think, on this occasion, you know...'

What's even funnier is that one site I was getting these lyrics off had them completely screwed! Take for instance the line 'can you do first aid?' It came up as 'can you do farther eat?'

Shame...

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a dick. He decided that Tookie still deserved to die and as of 1 minute past midnight Dec 13th - bummy American time - he was put to death. There goes a symbol of hope for hundreds of African Americans wanting to get out of the gang game, a proflific anti-violence activist, and any chance white America has of showing they care about disaffected youth and the right of every human being of redemption and forgiveness. Sorry if I sound preachy, but this case deserves a high-horse stance. Long Live Tookie.

Save Tookie

Have you heard about Stan 'Tookie' Williams? I rarely take interest in American 'execution of ex-gang leaders' affairs, but this one blew me away when I heard about it first on Hack on Triple J. It's insane that anyone could execute that man, reformed, redeemed and saving lives. Execution on 13th Dec, fate lies in the hands of one Arnold Schwarzenegger (who the hell would have used that sentence three years ago?!).

I encourage you to read about this guy here so he'll at least leave some sort of legacy.

Oh, and you can send a christmas card to Tony Blair.

The Apocalypse Is NOW!

Last night during tea I did my trademark Biz move - I spilt my coffee. My lovely host on whose tablecloth the unfortunate drops landed remarked "don't worry, it's not the end of the world". My dinner companions and I then had an in depth conversation on the possibility of spilt coffee actually sparking the apocalypse and realised that it's very likely.

I now see that all the signs are there...the end of the world really is here. I have been an important piece of the puzzle since birth, in fact my very conception was marked out as a vital catalyst in the death of the earth as we know it. All of these years of coffee drinking, and the fact that I've spilt almost every cup, have been years of priming me up to fulfill my destiny. And there was probably some divine purpose in seeing the Goodies live in there as well.

One of the major signs that the end is nigh - I'm sitting here currently listening to Robbie Williams 'Advertising Space' and I'm hit by a remarkable revelation, that this is the second Robbie Williams single in a row that I've actually enjoyed. Admitting that I liked 'Tripping' was hard enough, but now another one? Something is seriously not right...

Stay tuned for more signs.